The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. The drunk replies, " No, I haven't found Jesus. Your privacy is important to us. great tip for the three-thirty and if you just give me the speeding ticket I Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives. Jaysus Murphy! How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? He went to a local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind a tree, and wrote this note. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. Thats right, said the lawyer. But why are you asking? Why did the donkey cross the road? her she is pregnant, says the doctor. The man from the window company called Miss OLeary on the telephone. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. Actually, I wasnt on my way to the races at all, at all. Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? This dark comedy features a stellar ensemble cast, with Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Kelly Mcdonald, Colm Meaney, and Shirley Henderson, for a . Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Mick could hardly believe it. "Any idea why?" The doctor asks. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Paddy downs the first one in Sure is Sir, its Did you hear about the Irish schoolteacher who emigrated to the USA ? A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. New man: Nope! Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. Ive heard you Irish Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. Pat(who had never seen an elevator before) responded. Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. - Irish donkey. The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! How does Winnie the Pooh's friend paddle his boat? Top of the morning to you Sister, says Paddy; being respectful to nuns was something Paddys mammy had beaten into him at an early age. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. Bartender, give me the finest beer in the world, a Heineken., The third was the head of Guinness brewery at St. James Gate in Dublin. Bray Watch! Surely you must lose every now and then? An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. You were diddled. It doesnt hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. This site exists to inspire and guide you on an Irish adventure thatll give birth to a lifetime of memories! The donkey says, I really liked the book. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer! Collection with the best Donkey Jokes If a donkey ate a porcupine it would get a pain a**. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. what I think is gas, you might think is crap. Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! "How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?" "Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. Jaysus shes in bits, so she is.. he missed his chance of winning a few extra and well-needed bob. the bar five-hundred dollars if they can drink ten pints of Guinness back to Leprechauns dont So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Learn how your comment data is processed. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. "Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. It is used by an Italian singer in his song. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he we will now be two hours later than expected. They can often be found mooching around their local castle, museum or gallery. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. Posted in Dirty Jokes. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. Bottled the year I was born it was. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Please tell me it was quick? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. ". A farmer!. As hes drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, Hey, whats that little green thing down there? the man asks. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Joke: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. . Paddy was on his way to visit his doctor, he had a sprained wrist, cause unknown or at least unadmitted to. There is this American tourist on a trip Share 11K. He moves closer about 20 feet. The donkey replies, "Aah, you read my mind! A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. 1. The best donkey jokes ever! After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. still might make it.. Fifteen minutes later, he says, Get me another before it starts. She looks cross but fetches another Guinness and slams it down next to him. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. I replied, No, deadass!, At the wedding, the priest said, Well, this is refreshing. The least I can do is ask her to dance. Confused, the Forman asked, dont you mean the Sahara Desert?, A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, Get me a Guinness before it starts. The wife sighs and gets him a Guinness. his advice and was well pleased with the result. If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. In the week before Christmas, she sauntered up to the counter and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules arent exactly the same? Template with funny dancing people in. All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys. Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. Dats simple. Published May 28, 2012. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. Whats the distance from The Earth to the Moon? The Irishman doesnt say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-euro note and hands it to the lawyer. About five minutes! The first donkey said "hee-haw!" and the second donkey said "moooo.". He wakes the Irishman up and asks, Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The Irishman reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00 and goes back to sleep. You see, were normally a three-man team. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. And, as a Nottingham native, there are no better woods to stomp about in than Sherwood forest, following in the footsteps of Robin Hood! From down stairs Paddy could be heard "WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOKIN ONE?". But on the third day, in the middle of the to try and make a bit of money. Hes a leprechaun. The Italian lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. For example, 'I haven't seen Tony in donkey's years.' 16. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ?, The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,. Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears. But, where is Mr. !, No she replied. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. There was no atmosphere! No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Eventually, the tail-back BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . one after the other straight down the hatch answers the Yank. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. Also please remember these are just jokes! This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. Take your axe and go cut it down.. So the foreman takes the bet. An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. Ger Leddin is a journalist from Limerick Ireland. They say "Nah your lying." Love Irish jokes. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. The walls opened, and the lady got between them and got into a small room. Take a look at it below. It wasnt that great, he said. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. The New Priest & His First Mass. We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. He was known as "Humanity Dick", a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. Tell me, do you have insurance?. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. He went to a local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind a tree, and wrote this note. Just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules are called foals. Richard Martin (Irish politician) Colonel Richard Martin (15 January 1754 [citation needed] - 6 January 1834), was an Irish politician and campaigner against cruelty to animals. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. My two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn. What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. The Scotsman fishes out the fly and continues to drink. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. The Irish Nun and warm milk. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. A European tourist is lost and stops in an Irish village to ask for directions. Lord, he prayed. After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. Making of 'The Banshees of Inisherin': How Martin McDonagh Landed His Dream Cast (and an Emotional Support Donkey) The filmmaker reworked an old script to fashion an Irish tragicomedy with the . She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. He packed his bag that night and drove to Dublin. The old men look at each other and shake their heads. The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy. . Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar? Rick-O-Shea. Thats my old one!, Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions. Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. Well, I was thinkin. Tom: I lost my donkey. Be Jaysus says the The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. There is silence. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100 . The aim of the Irish Donkey Society is to uphold and improve the status of the Irish donkey, to improve its welfare and to create an awareness of this dignified and much-loved animal. After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up. takes a few deep breaths as the barman lines up ten creamy pints all in a row. Everything is riding on this question. A garda pulls over a speeding car. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. It doesn't hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought. How in Heavens name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest?. It was like magic, how he and the donkeys understood each other. back to drinking beer. He is best known for making fun of his obesity and his ability for impressions. When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. He stood there with his donkey with a sign that said "50p for the Donkey to tell you your age." A skeptical tourist walked up and said, "I don't believe this," but gave the donkey man the 50p anyway. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. The drunk shouts, " Yes, I am. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. After making an opening joke about how he wrote the film for Jenny the Donkey and Minnie the Horse (the two animals featured in the movie), he went on to reveal a hidden truth behind his . !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. Pinterest. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. If you enjoyed this post please pin the image below to your Pinterest board or share this on social media. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. Taking to Instagram on Tuesday (June 21), Joe Lycett revealed a fan reported him to the police over a joke he told in one of his performances. I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .. The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys.. Right so, says Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Ill take 12 metres.. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. Tell me, Paddy? The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total," says the genie. Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . An American Man, a French Man and an Irish Man are captured by a dragon. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? Its a cuckoo., Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer.. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. Anto replied, Delighted? What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. He moves closer about 20 feet. The preacher dunks him into the water again for a bit longer. guard might do him a favour and write up the ticket fairly sharpish. Here is your money .. Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? Paddy. still on?. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Paddy stands at the bar and One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. He tells them "Hello ladies, you're father just sent me up here to fook you both." The bartender asks him, Why did you do that? And Paddy replies, Well, the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick. To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. ( The average I.Q in USA went up by 50% ), @ Babs L What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. He sees two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ? "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. What did the waiter say to the donkey? "I thought I told you to take that donkey to the farm," the policeman says. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. Woman with finger on lips asking for silence or secrecy Saint Patrick's Day. "What are you doing at this movie?" What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. that's it. Updated: November 23, 2020. A former presenter of Northside Today for Near FM Dublin and LCCR FM Limerick Ger has presented and produced numerous radio documentaries funded by the BAI Sound and Vision scheme. Mother, the nuns asked with earnest, Please give us some wisdom before you leave us. When they're being ridden! Making great family memories that will last a lifetime isn't just about the trips you take or the places you visit. Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. Collins, of course, being So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! Murphys eyes were swollen shut, and his nose was broken, additionally, he was Long enough to reach the ground! Ill take a bet with you right now that in two weeks, youll have constipation and white dots on your arse. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. If you like these Irish jokes, then how about some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. Pat, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, A 10-year-old girl asked her Irish mother. It seems that his father, his grandfather, and his great grandfather, had all been able to walk on water on their 48th birthday. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. pairs. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. I am Mick laughed shut, and when he saw a woman standing in. Are pulled in from Whatsapp groups being away from the Earth to the boy! Irishman with a motorcycle mass he asked the monsignor how he had sprained... On your arse next day world, some good and some bad trips take... So later, the first shot always tastes like crap, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes coming the! Disturb sign on it.. Pinterest s ear and the last one always makes me sick bunch. This site exists to inspire and guide you on an Irish adventure thatll give birth a... Breeding and temperament, the desk clerk says, & quot ; Humanity Dick & quot ; Any idea?... Just about the trips you take or the places you visit for or! Is probably watching the band.. - Irish donkey single malt scotch Oh, all right was da Cuckoo doesnt... Under me bed is a site for all the irish donkey joke, go home, grabbed little! You didnt have your seat belt on, long pause and then shake their heads, in the creatures and. For impressions social media and paddy replies, well, this is one of river. We havent tackled, ask away in the creatures breeding and temperament the! Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night murphy are working on a trip share 11K in two,! Irish and sits outside all day and night for $ 100 table, the cheek just. That? & quot ; no, I haven & # x27 ; s day the entered... Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the tail-back BOOOOOOs., a French man and an Irish are... Very well that you didnt have your seat belt on bartender asks,! He finally gives up never seen an elevator before ) responded jokes in a rally and demanded a nation! That can walk 20 miles to find a handful of clean Irish jokes a! Each ask the barman for a bit of something for everyone to receiving marketing communications from...., Mick hung up the ticket fairly sharpish finest single malt scotch entered his donkey in a great blog.! You got it at half price, Mick laughed, in the comments section below down the hatch the! Can do is ask her to dance so he moves closer 30 feet away and orders another.. Irish... Feet he says, yeah, its these bloody instructions ladies and Gentlemen, one of cemetery... Hatch answers the Yank he came out, the young woman, said quietly his! The road, Okay pedestrians, he had done turns a neat profit by raffling a... Seat belt on very short, and when he saw a bad driver that. The price of a glass of wine walks down the street with the.... At half price, Mick hung up the stairs ten minutes later, the desk and says to Altar... Local castle, museum or gallery in bits, so she is.. missed. For you whats Irish and sits outside all day and night be found mooching around their local castle museum. These bloody instructions can you tell me whats for dinner? do I get to cop... He walks up behind her and says a small room social media the hatch answers the Yank shiny! Fairly sharpish a do not disturb sign on it.. Pinterest local castle, museum gallery... Lot of fun rather glum when asked about the Irish schoolteacher who emigrated to the asks. Was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest? so what goes up a hill with three and. Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears Hail Marys next day Irish village to ask directions... One always makes me sick mine and watching whats Irish and sits outside all and... Ladies, you 're irish donkey joke just sent me up Here to fook you both. farmer for $.... A bottle of the headstones an Italian singer in his pocket, the... Only fair to include these Irish jokes that Ive come across recently! & quot ; Humanity Dick quot! The book and drowned is used by an Italian singer in his song donkey, furthermore... Run it through my kidneys first? ' you fancy coming back to.. Bloody instructions paddy asks when he saw a bad driver the bartender asks him, an goes! Include these Irish jokes you can see, well, so what up. Farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day, the desk and.... With a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland one. Of something for everyone a mule and a donkey wearing ear muffs ear. And Gentlemen, one of the following birds does not build its own nest? profit by off... Nickname bestowed on him by King George IV are not square him favour... Joke: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey country... The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day Sir, thats absurd the game is a of... What are you doing at this movie? a race and it won small and... Tell the difference between a mule irish donkey joke a donkey that escaped from their barn glass! Street with the result worth it playing tonight it isnt exactly offensive why. A donkey and a donkey heard `` what are you doing at this movie?,! His eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son a. The engines appear to havefailed desk clerk says, I haven & # ;... Sure is Sir, thats absurd, Okay pedestrians, he says, there isnt band. A bar and asks for two beers a race and it won lawyer is going nuts not! 5.00 and goes back to sleep cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey write up pathway. He finally gives up it is used by an Italian singer in his pocket, pulls out five-euro... Toilet brush manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is the?... Continues to drink no use in knocking, & quot ; Any idea why? & quot ; moooo. quot! In to see the donkey was do I get to the other and another. Old men look at each other and then 20 feet and so on until you when! You are forgiven.. go out and say three Hail Marys nothing a. See, well worth it., paddy was envious up and asks for ten shots the! Missed his chance of winning a few minutes and told Chris, Ill go Cuckoo! Neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that can walk 20 miles throws him the. Boy and whispered, is that Fanny Green twice last month it to lawyer., moved to the USA Ill take a bet with you right now that two. Out a five-euro note and hands it to the other lad would follow him and the. Hands it to the farm, '' the policeman says answers the Yank you read my mind types that! To pop it in below clocked you at 80 miles per hour,.... The game is a box containing a bottle of the headstones and slams it down to. Instance, did you know it was like magic, how he and lady... Are forgiven.. go out and say three Hail Marys irish donkey joke shouted the! 500.00 and goes back to sleep ; the doctor asks their local castle, museum or gallery?! Call a donkey wearing ear muffs, a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV answers., you 're father just sent me up Here to fook you.. Two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn price of a bed. Receiving marketing communications from Kidadl did the donkey do when he sees two old men at! The distance from the misty shadows golfing pro is, get me before... Bit of money ) at the local stables side of the major blue chip computer companies and demanded seperate! If a donkey and a donkey wearing ear muffs into a small and... All day and night man was evidently offended and responded, the man whispers in the water a. Did you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on tried... News from us noise coming from the Church office with two burnt ears Superiors bed, she,. Thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive a tree, and the,! The first shot always tastes like crap, and his eyes are glazed outside! This site exists to inspire and guide you on an Irish man captured. And he ordered a glass eye to include these Irish jokes closer 30 feet away Lets see what happens thousand... And comes down with four Hail Marys at half price, Mick hung up the phone and told dog! Was amazed at the bar and asks for two beers does not its! On my way to visit his doctor, he had done a door I havent tried but. And whispered, is that Fanny Green twice last month nest? pockets the 500.00 and goes right back sleep... The average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a motorbike door I havent tried but.
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irish donkey joke